Whether like Justin (or Nathan, for fans of the British version) in Queer As Folk you nervously smoked a cigarette pacing up and down the gay strip trying to pluck up the courage to go to your first bar or like many of us you went along to check out the scene with your gay friends on the understanding that you of course were not in fact yourself gay, the experience of “coming out” is often inextricably linked to an introduction to this new social world.
The gay bar and club scene offers many things that many of us craved during what can be lonely years in the closet. It provides that much longed for acceptance, security, and perhaps most importantly of all a feeling of validation, that there are hundreds, thousands, of men and women out there just like you. It can often transform your life, give you a set of friendships you only dreamed about, and of course it gives you instant access to sex, and hopefully meaningful relationships.
Yet for many people it can be unfulfilling. Clearly some may never want this kind of lifestyle and reject the hedonism often associated with gay nightlife. They may enter into long-term relationships, while for others the internet offers access to both anonymous sex or dating without the need to frequent the gay scene.
There is another set of young out gay people like myself who enjoy the party lifestyle, but increasingly find the idea of existing in this gay bubble less appealing and frankly unnecessary.
Most of my friends are gay and we enjoy going out to gay clubs, but our social lives are not defined by the listings pages of the local weekly scene guide. We all have straight friends who may be happy coming to gay bars but we also want to mix with everyone else.
Last weekend I was in New York. I did not want to hit the gay bars, and was much happier going out with my friends to a cool straight club. We never felt intimidated or uncomfortable with being ourselves. Gay guys have been mixing in straight clubs forever but perhaps now more openly than ever.
As gays and lesbians come out at a younger age and are often more accepted by their peers at school and college, they feel less of a need to immerse themselves in the comfort blanket that the gay scene offers. It may be less than a decade on from when Queer As Folk first hit our screens but I think today’s Justin or Nathan would be more likely to be out to his friends and family even at that young age, and less likely to see the gay scene as the only route to find social acceptance.
I am not saying the “gay bar” has past its sell-by date just yet but real freedom for today’s gays and lesbians does not come from the opportunity to be ourselves in a ghetto without fear of persecution by the authorities, but to be ourselves everywhere.
I may not have talked about marketing or communications directly here, but for me there strong message particularly for brands who want to reach a younger generation.
Just as gay people (and more and more straight people) want social interaction to be gay-friendly they also want companies to be the same. I think most young straight people would also appreciate communications that is designed to appeal to both them and their gay friends, and does not segregate them into separate demographics. Most straight people also want to buy from gay-friendly companies and work for gay-friendly employers.
This means gay-friendly (or even gay-vague) advertising and not just putting ads in the gay press. It means gay-friendly workplace policies and not just having a gay employee support network. It means supporting gay causes as part of a wider commitment to human rights, and not just picking a gay charity for the sake of it.
Here is an example to illustrate my point. As my friend and I watched TV on Sunday afternoon in New York, the “gay version” of the Levis commercial came on during a break.
My friend had never seen it before and thought it was great, and really appealed to him. Why had he not seen it before? Because he hadn’t realized Logo was part of his cable package. If that advert had appeared on many different channels (it is shown exclusively on Logo) I’m sure it would have turned on many more gay people who don’t happen to watch Logo. The rest of Levis’ young demographic target audience would have been unlikely to have been turned off by it just as they were not turned off by my friend kissing a guy in a straight club the night before.
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