This weekend was eye-opening. And I wasn't in D.C. — or even at Daley Plaza here in Chicago because of previous commitments and responsibilities that I wish I could have dismissed. However, this weekend I saw and heard just how far we've come and how much further we have to go as gays and lesbians in America.
While National Coming Out Daymay be one of those events only largely known or recognized by the LGBT community and our fiercest allies, I thought this past weekend's National Equality Marchon Washington to demand equality would be more closely attuned to American's radars, especially the millennials. I was wrong.
Multiple times this weekend, roommates, professional colleagues and others I ran into had no idea about the march. That led me to ask additional questions of their thoughts on ENDA, Don't Ask Don't Tell, hate crimes legislation, DOMA and marriage equality. Answers varied and were mostly supportive, but only largely after I explained the issue from my perspective and offered a dialogue with my straight friends. They were impassioned and verbally expressed agreement for LGBT equality. But only at that moment.
And that's what the LGBT brand must face and must do as the next step moving forward from Sunday's march (in answer to Laura's question yesterday). We must go beyond being out front and openly sharing our story and lives with people. As evident by my conversations with my intelligent, compassionate millennial friends, we have to communicate and engage more straight allies and spark a greater sense of ownership and urgency in our issues. For many of our friends understand and disagree with LGBT inequalities, yet because their marriages remain in tact state to state, their military service is not dependent on keeping their mouth shut and so on — LGBT issues are something to correct…when they have the time or are directly faced with a friend dealing with the inequalities.
Strong, motivating brands give people a sense of ownership, engagement and results. While the LGBT brand has additional issues which I may discuss later, first and foremost we must get other allies and straight counterparts to care about our inequalities outside of the times we're discussing the issues with them face-to-face. Being out front with our lives day in and day out is just a part of the bigger effort that must begin to bring about change and progress. We have to find ways to give ownership of our struggles to others.
How? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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Surely this reminds us that it is as much about the every-day, small gestures as it is about the big ones.
I am a Director of the European Pride Organizers Association (www.europride.info)and people often ask me what happens they can do on the other 364 days of the year; you can be out! Changing hearts and minds is not going to happen just because we march, it happens at the watercoolers, the reading groups, the bars.
It is much easier to hate someone you’ve never met, but the truth is often our colleagues still think they “haven’t met anyone gay”. I’m not advocating that you should wear your spangly hot pants and blow your pride whistle every morning at work, but, feel free to talk about your weekend and your love life. To know is to understand!